I THOUGHT I COULD HELP A CHILD

I thought I could help a child by giving a warm home, love and security. I welcomed the child in and began working toward the child's wholeness. Then I met the Appointments.

There were many of these folks. Their first names were Caseworker, Therapist, Doctor, Dentist, Eyedoctor, School, Court, and Attorney. These folks took much time and I found I had to visit some of them on a weekly basis. I told myself, "it will be okay. I'll be able to fit them in."

Then I met the Meetings. Their names were Training, School, Caseworker, Casemanager, Team, Support and Therapy. I thought it quite interesting that some of their names were the same as the Appointments. Not to be confused though, for they had a different function.

Next I met Visitation. There was only one in this family but she took on many personalities. Sometimes she would be mother, sometimes father, and sometimes sibling. She was very taxing and after a visit with her, emotions would run high and in a wide range. In addition, she was very demanding and would not be visited less than every other week. At times, she would even want special considerations.

With all this heaviness, it came to me that "this child needs something fun in life." So I connected with the Recreations. This family didn't seem so large at first and they were very friendly. Their names were School, Community, Family and Church. It was only a short while and I found out that some of these folks had children. Well now, let me tell you, the children turned out to be excessively demanding. Community and School had children with the same name (Basketball, Soccer, & Baseball). Those little buggers wanted to get together all the time! The other children (Program, Fair, Scout, & Extraactivity) were more relaxed and only desired to gather occasionally. However, when they gathered they had no consideration for any of the other Recreations.

Between keeping the Appointments, Meetings, Visitations and Recreations happy, I started to get a little worn out and then someone told me about the Respites. These folks sounded wonderful! Why they could help out a couple of times a month and maybe even a week or two a year. I thought, "How wonderful. This is just what I need."

In going to meet the Respites, I found he was hard to find. Once, I found him, he was hard to find in the same place again. Sometimes he was unacceptable. Other times he was a great distance away. I thought "this guy is really inconsistent." On top of that, he almost never could be found more than once a month and at times, not at all.

Finding the Respites even became additional work!

Now I was running between the Appointments, Meetings, Visitations, Recreations and the Respites. In trying to help a child I found myself losing touch with my family, friends and self. As I tried to regain myself, I felt the Oppositions close in. There are three members of the Oppositions family (System, Family and Friends) and they are very strong. System wanted to take away my supports, Family wanted me to give up the child, and Friends didn't want the child around.

I thought I could help a child.......who will help me to help a child?

A FOSTER PARENT

written by Cindy Mason, 2000

email Cindy

 

 

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