A leaf dangles from a tree. She is an ordinary leaf, not much different than the others except for two spots in the center that look like a pair of fiery suns. Her mother, the tree, kept the leaf through two rough winters, sheltered her in the fall and let her sway in the spring.

One cold fall, the mother tree grew tired of having to shelter this leaf-child while her branches could no longer bathe in the sun her leaves became a burden. That day a cold blustery wind blew in and the mother-tree did not hover over her branches to protect her young; instead she stood straight and tall and waited for her leaf-child to fall.

The leaf was called "Eyes of Dawn", by the surrounding wildlife, for her warm colored spots on her green face, but as the cold gust whipped at her edges and as she clung to her mother's nurturing arm with all her might, those "eye" flickered.

Dawn realized that her mother was not going to shelter her anymore, and as her only arm was ripped apart from her branch, Dawn felt an anger growing inside of her that made her eyes look like burning embers against a green sea. As the blustery wind blew her further away from her home, Dawn's eyes got hotter and hotter.

Finally, the wind died down and Dawn floated into a new home, this one had smaller shier leaves and there were bright pink buds surrounding her. Where she landed was next to a small white bud who did not look like the others. His name was Scotty, and he explained that his small family had become victims to the "Clippers" and he fell down into the Rosebud's home.

Scotty and Dawn became good friends. On cold nights, Scotty would let Dawn nestle in his warm petals and when it rained, Dawn would shelter Scotty to protect his delicate petals from getting wet.

Dawn enjoyed her family, the Rosebuds. Mother-Bud was plump and cheery and Pa-Bud took Scotty and Dawn exploring around the neighborhood. But they had a son who was not a budded rose nor a shiny leaf. His name was Thor, and he was pointed, sharp, and he was mean.

Every night when the sun went down, Thor would lean over as the wind blew and tear into Dawn's green flesh. Scotty would try to protect her by enfolding her in his fragile petals but Thor would pierce them and hurt Scotty, too.

One day when a gust of winter wind came along, Dawn wriggled out of Scotty's protective grasp and flew away with it. Now that she was safe from Thor, she decided to find herself a new home, and once again she landed.

This time the family was real tough and prickly. Dawn couldn't handle the pain, so again she was without a home to call her own. She began drifting from place to place, and as she rejected again and again, her brilliant green color faded to a red-brown one.

Dawn was exhausted, she could no longer fly from place to place. She landed on the soft soil and soon it began to rain. It rained for three days. Dawn was very hungry, so she buried herself in the soil, when she was full she decided to take a long nap in the warm blanket.

When Dawn woke up, she was above the ground looking up to me sky. She stretched her tired arms and suddenly felt a burst of energy....Arms? She had arms? Dawn looked down and she had a pair of long, slender arms! There was something attached to them, two little green leaves were hugging her arm, and on those precious little leaves were two spots in the center. They were not a fiery red, they were a brilliant green color. Dawn was no longer alone and angry, she was finally content with herself. As she admired her beautiful arms that cradled her new children, she noticed a small white bud embedded between them. Her lifelong friend and protector was now a part of her.

As the cold winters went by, Dawn protected her children, in the fall she bent her arms so that they would not fly off with the winds. During the spring, her leaf-children beamed their green eyes and the tree-children around them would be envious of their good friend and the companionship the little white bud gave them. Each season Dawn gave birth to more children and budding flowers, and she promised to never let them fly away with the wind.

Dawn stood straight and tall that summer, and on her trunk her eyes glowed yellow with happiness, never to be red again.

Tamara Dawn Widner, February 1993

*Editor's Note

I wrote this short story while I was living at my last foster home. Shortly after I ran away, and was sent to Hillcrest Receiving Home. In October of 1978, my mother abandoned me in the Hillcrest parking lot. In May of 1993, I was living at Hillcrest when the search for my family ended. A lady who worked for a reunion firm voluntarily found my mother for me after she had received a 7 page letter from me.

I later discovered my father's whereabouts and I am currently employed at the same office where he and my step-mother work. Unfortunately, I only saw my mother for 3 days, and soon after we could not work things out. I still keep in contact with her family, though.

I now have a beautiful little boy who will be 6 months old on June 3rd! I am a single mother, but I have never been happier. My son has motivated me to accomplish so much; I quite smoking for life, I have a great job, a wonderful apartment, and a positive attitude on life!

There is a lot of iron in this story, the only loose end is my dear childhood friend, Scotty, whom I hope to find someday. He will never know how much his sweet nature helped me to cope with such a horrible situation.

I hope that you have gotten some insight on how a foster child feels. At least you know how I felt. This story is just a short chapter of many un-written pages. One day in the future I hope to complete a novel entitled "A Light in the Darkness." So in about 5-10 years keep your eyes open for it!!

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, I hope you enjoyed it and that you have learned a little about foster life from the viewpoint of the foster child.

copyright Tamara D. Widner 1993