Ways to enhance self-esteem of a child in foster care:

1. Have a designated space where the family gets their height and weight measured on a routine basis. Children love to see their names on the wall and to see the marks that show how tall they are. Children get equally excited about the adults being measured, too.
2. Take a photograph of the child when she or he enters your home. Take a photograph at regular intervals. Identify a space for each child to display their set photos. The child likes to see their picture and to see how they are changing.
3. Have each family member plan a meal. Identify the meal after the child's name. For instance, Mikes' Meal, consists of hot dogs, apple sauce, corn on the cob and milk. On the calendar, identify which day of the month (week) each child's meal will be served.
4. Before a child enters your home, or in the transition phase, give the child a photograph of the care givers along with a letter about the family. Ask the child for input about their self. You may have a lot of basic data about a child, but to specifically ask the child helps to strengthen the relationship and the child becomes "owner" of the information. I have had children ask me, "What do you know about me?" Think about your own life. Would you like to share specific information yourself, or have someone else share it for you? Questions to ask:
   How old are you?
   How many brothers and sisters do you have?
   What grade are you in?
   What is your favorite food?
5. Upon a child leaving your home, give the child envelopes which are stamped with your address on them. Let the child know you want to hear from them and that you want to stay in contact. If you know where the child is going, make sure you get their address. Let the child see that you have stamped and written their new address on some envelopes. Seeing the addressed envelope is more believable than just hearing that you are going to send him or her a letter.
6. Put the child's name on as many objects as possible! Toothbrush, cup, chair, shelf, school belongings, jacket, books, pad of paper and so on. We all like to see our names.
7. Have mirrors in places the child can see. If it is safe, a mirror in each room is suggested.
8. To state the obvious, remember and recognize each child on her or his birthday. Put up a poster in the common area of the house. The poster can be used over and over. Have the child's name and age on another piece of poster board or paper which hangs near the "Happy Birthday" poster. Know what the birthday child's favorite color is and have balloons in that color.
9. Take a picture of each child on the first day of the school year, every year.
10. Leave little notes in key places for the child once in a while. The note can convey to the child something you like about the child, or positive behavior you noticed.
11. Display school work that the child wants displayed.
12. No matter how short of a time the child is with you, celebrate their stay. A specific meal, a party, going to the park, all can be activities designated to say to the child: You are important, we are glad you were here, you will be remembered. Inform the child and other family members about the special event.
13. Upon the child leaving your home, give the child one tangible item that represents your time and experience with the child. If the child enjoyed helpng you make cookies, a cookie cutter as a gift would be appropriate. If the child watched golf on T.V., with you, giving the child a golf tee would be appropriate. One child enjoyed watching my husband tie his tie. He eventually learned how to do this from my husband, and we gave him one of my husband's ties.
14. Upon the child entering your home, see to it that the child has one physical item from the person(s) the child left. If the child came from an inpatient hospital, a banner with everyone's name on it or a card from the staff would be appropriate. If the child has been removed from the birth family, do your best to get something that is from the birth mother and/or father.
15. Upon the child leaving your home, have the child give each family member something. The child can make something, draw, write or give away some personal item. I have had children choose wooden shaped objects from the craft store, paint the objects and hand them out. The child gives something away as a way to be remembered. "This wil help you remember me."
16. Take photographs of the child with her or his friends and family. It is wisest to take pictures all during the child's stay. Place all the pictures together in a photo album or Lifebook.