"Bound to a Lounge Chair"

 

Hi , my name is Angela and I am a 15 year old foster child. When I was 2 years old my mom sat me on a hot burner and burned my leg really bad. I spent the next 3 months in the hospital. That was the start of ten years of abuse. Daily my mom would call me demeaning names and hit my brother and I. When I was 7 years old I watched through the front window as a taxi pulled up in front of my house my mom walked out of our house and got into the taxi, the driver threw her suitcases into the trunk and drove off. My mom never said good-bye and we never saw or heard from her again. My dad's brother moved into our house with his girlfriend, then we all moved to Chicago. My uncle was a drunk and a druggie. Every night when he came home from the bar he became violent and very loud. He would beat my brother and I by slamming our heads into the walls and slapping us around. Our dad was gone four to five days a week for his job. So our uncle and his girlfriend would watch us. While our dad was out of town. Then we moved to Ohio. That is where my dad met a lady on the internet. She was from Florida. She moved to Ohio and lived with us for about one year. (She was married to someone else at this time,) She told my dad that we could come and live with her and her family in Florida. So we did.

Once we moved in with this family the abuse got even worse. I am now 11 years old. They started to think I was a little crazy so my dad and this other family we were living with came up with some sick idea's that they were going to do to me. This other family was into witchcraft and spells and such. I was not allowed to eat with the rest of the family anymore, so they made me eat outside on the covered patio by myself. That is where I lived most of the time.

Then I wasn't allowed to be around my brother. My brother had to leave to school earlier than me so we wouldn't walk or talk to each other. We weren't allowed to play with each other at all. When I came home from school I was sent outside to scrub the pool deck on my hands and knees with bleach and water. My hands, feet and knees were getting so red and raw because of the bleach they hurt all the time.

Linda and my dad would also make me clean up for sixteen birds, six cats and seven dogs. The dogs were allowed to live in the house with the rest of the family, but they wouldn't let me. My dad made me sleep in the garage when it was cold or raining but I was still tied to a lounge chair, but it was worse than sleeping out on the porch because I had to smell the birds, cats and dogs odors all night long.

This was my life every day. I felt I was on permanent punishment all the time. The 20 year old girl Linda that lived in the home started abusing me along with my dad. Linda would try drowning me in the pool several times a month, she banged my head on big rocks in the back yard, hitting me and slapping me around. One night Linda thought I did something and tied me to the lounge chair and dragged the chair to the side of the pool, she proceeded to lift the foot part of the chair, with me tied to the chair and dunked my head under the water several times until I confessed to doing whatever it was, (but I only confessed to doing whatever it was so Linda would stop dunking me). I thought she was going to kill me that night.

Then the day came where they started making me sleep outside on the patio on a lounge chair at night. I wasn't allowed inside at night to go to the bathroom or get a drink of water so I had to go to the bathroom in the yard. They locked me out of the house. Then they decided to tie me to the lounge chair at night. They tied my wrists and ankles to the chair with rope and duct tape and that was they way I stayed till morning. They did this night after night for months. Every night for two weeks my dad gave me three sleeping pills when I went to bed. Hoping I would sleep better. One night I remember ants crawling all over me and I couldn't do anything about it because I was tied up. In the morning i was covered with bites all over my body. My dad asked the owner of the home charlie to make a box that was three feet by five feet for me to sleep in during hurricane season. They would make me climb in to "the coffin" and lock me in it. Then they would place a sheet over the wire mesh where I got into the coffin so I couldn't see out, I stayed like that till morning. The only way I could breathe was through the spaces between the boards.

My dad and Linda would make me take scalding hot baths with bleach, peroxide, baking soda and dish soap and make me get into the bath to clean myself. I told them it was too hot for me to get in but they made me get into the bath anyway. My dad got my brother involved at this time because he asked my brother to bring all the stuff to the bathroom so they could mix all the stuff in it. They did alot of other things to me but the are too gross and embarrassing to talk about. My dad told me that I was lower than scum and called me the "B" word and tell me I will never amount to anything good.

School officials called me into the office because some of my teachers noticed the scratches on my neck, bruises, rope burns on my wrists and ankles and the raw skin on my hands and I had some big bald spots on my head from Linda pulling my hair out when she tried drowning me the school officials called the police at that time. From that point my dad was arrested and so were the other two family members they stayed in jail then bonded out.

I was placed into foster care two days after my twelfth birthday. I was sent to live with the Davis's. I came with the clothes on my back and a bag with some stuff in it. Mrs. Davis told me she wanted to talk to me and we went outside to the patio that is when she checked my hair for lice. I told Mrs. Davis that I wanted to tell her a few things. I told her that I knew a lot about witchcraft and spells and I watched really bad movies and such. I cursed a lot and I talked back in a disrespectful way and I told her I liked to fight. That really scared Mrs. Davis. I arrived on a Friday night and she was praying that Monday would come real fast. So she could call placement and have me go somewhere else, she didn't know what to do. We talked things out and we decided we would take one day at a time. I did tell them that I didn't trust anyone especially adults.

At night I would have nightmares of my abuse and actually feel the pain and Linda's hands around my neck. And most nights when I did have nightmares I would wake up all out of breath and couldn't breathe. Through time my nightmares have almost gone away.

As time has gone by my foster parents and I have grown real close and I learned to trust them. I started to feel they really loved me and care about me. My foster mom set up counseling for me, and my counselor comes to our home every week. We are still working on my anger problem, I don't look like I have an anger problem but I do.

I wasn't the only child in the Davis's home and now I have other brothers and sisters. It is pretty cool to have other kids in the house, we are all different and we all have issues, some are just greater than others. I have seen over one hundred children or so come and go in the last four years I've been with the Davis's.

I don't want you to think that I have been the perfect child. I have run away, I've done and said things that I shouldn't have. I have hurt people from time to time that I love. I think I'm smarter than my foster parents about half the time.

On a more positive note I am an honor roll student and have been for years, I help around the house, I do good in sports, I just earned my black belt in Tae kwon do in December 2003. I am a Christian and try to lead a good life. My foster parents are helping me fulfill my dreams.

I'm going to attend college and go three years to law school. I want to be a prosecuting attorney and I want to be a judge someday. I am working on writing my life story of abuse and how to help children that are being abused. I am a child advocate and I want to speak at middle and High schools to help children recognize the signs of abuse. I really feel that if DCF did not pull me out of the house when they did I would be dead.

My dad and Linda were found NOT GUILTY of child abuse, but were found guilty of child neglect which is a lesser charge. This was child abuse not child neglect in my mind. But I'm not dwelling on that part of my life anymore.

My mom and dad signed their parental rights away on my brother and myself, so we are free to be adopted. My brothers foster parents are going to adopt him and my foster parents are going to adopt me. That is fine with the both of us because we live very close to each other and his foster parents are good friends with mine.

If you are a foster parent reading my story I want you to know that you will get all kinds of kids in your home some are great and some are not so great. One thing that every child needs is love. Whether they are in foster care or not. They want to know that they are worth something and they deserve to have a safe place to live, food on the table and not worry if they will have a bed to sleep in. Believe it or not, these kids really need structure and discipline in their lives. Give the new child in your home space when they first arrive. Let them settle in and make them feel welcome. Do not give them the impression that you want to replace their biological parents, no matter how their parents treated them or what their situation is. Do not say bad things about their parents. Even in the most severe abuse cases most children want to go back to their parents. Let then know that you are there for them if they want to talk, find out what the child's needs are. If they need counseling set it up for them right away, chances are they needed counseling way before they came to you. Counseling has helped me tremendously. If the child is blessed to have a "Guardian Ad Litem" appointed to them that is a very important person on their side. They are the voice of the foster child in court. The GAL tells the court what the child wants and what is in the best interest of the child.

I respect all of you that want to help foster child out there. Your life and your families lives will be changed forever. I want to thank you for loving, nurturing, protecting, and teaching these children so when they leave your home they will be more responsible and a more respectful adult.

If you are a foster child reading my story I hope I'll give you hope. I care about you and your situation. If you are a teenager living in a foster home - you are very lucky, and don't mess it up. I almost messed it up for myself many times but my foster parents weren't ready to give up on me. Even when I wanted to give up on myself. Listen to your foster parents they are trying to help you whether you want to believe that or not. Be respectful, and help out around the house, do your best in school so you can be successful in your adult life. Learn from the adults around you how to love. Love yourself and do positive things in your life, seek God, have faith that God will help you. Be quiet and listen to what God is telling you.

I want you to know that my foster parents adopted me on Friday, February 25th, 2004. I am very lucky to be adopted at 15 years old and I'm starting a new life with a new loving family. My brother was adopted by his foster parents the same day.

I believe in you and you will survive in foster care and it was a great thing for me, it could turn out to be a great thing for you too. I would love to hear from you that are reading my story. If I can help you in any way you can contact me at:

angelaspeaksout@earthlink.net
You can also contact my mom at davishouserules@earthlink.net

Thank you, Angela Davis